Monday, March 20, 2006

Instant relief from emotional pain...

Whether my brain is faulty or if all minds have the same qualities is irrelevant, what is clear is that my capacity for self inflicting pain, misery, mental torture, despair and projecting bad outcomes on my life is limitless, endless and infinite. Particularly with emotional situations I could be forever consumed by the suffering that has been thrust upon me throughout my life.

Of course, the only reason for the extent of these mental states, diseased or otherwise, is that they are not real but merely the creation of my mind's perceptions, conditionings and inherited meanings. Even emotions are just labels that we use to give meaning to our feelings and the events of our existence. The truth is simple - we only exist as selves in accordance with our own understanding, in reality we are not even the sum of our parts, as demonstrated by the fact that our components, when isolated, carry nothing of ourselves. Since we only understand ourselves as a collection of these meaningless parts - any definition of self is only attributed. We are made of nothing and are therefore nothing.

However this apparent disregard of everything we see, feel, hear, taste, touch and know gives me the greatest comfort and hope for the future, both for our whole species and myself. Firstly, the knowledge of this absence of reality allows for the cessation of my endless self inflicted emotional pain, misery and suffering. Instantly, by removing my self as an entity, the bad feelings are discredited and risen above. Secondly, since these conditioned and false existences are all we know and experience we should use our limitless ability to think, feel, touch, see, hear and taste for helping others and achieving good. If it's possible for my misery, pain and suffering to be infinite then I can instead cultivate limitless patience, tolerance, generosity, compassion and kindness with concentrated mental effort. This, I would assert, in turn brings it's own rewards through happiness and a reduction in the suffering.

I don't expect these processes to be easy to understand, come to terms with or act upon, but then everything that brings any real achievement only comes through concentration, effort and dedication. For the moment this knowledge and practice is central to my life and prevents it's consumption by the limitless suffering that only brings unhappiness. It is finding the middle ground between attachment to life and the knowledge of an empty existence that is the key; it is on my every breath.

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