Lord only knows...

Oh God. Jesus shitting Christ. Fucking hell. I’d love to get a handle on my blasphemes. How many times a day I take the Lord’s name in vain, except of course in my universe – which I’m fairly sure is reality – there is no Lord. Well there is Sebastian Coe and a few others but I think you know what I’m getting at – saying ‘Oh my fucking Lordy-Lord’ as a reference to a former Olympian turned politician seems a bit of a stretch – despite his undoubted good work. No, the name we are taking in vain here is that of the Lord God Almighty - if you need to get a better handle on who that is, unlike Seb Coe you don’t need Wikipedia, you can just click next blog above until you see what some sad sap is quoting from the bible about the creator or worse still his fictional off spring. Nope, no God here I’m afraid (and why wouldn’t you be afraid – those fuckers take their shit, and I mean shit, seriously); sure, current gaps in science makes space for mysticism for belief in the things we can’t prove, but I think we’re over most forms of literal interpretations of religion now, moral guidelines are fine but let’s not start fighting about our superstitions. I think we‘ve evolved beyond that now. Naked beliefs are not something to be pushing about and certainly not something to be forcing on your children; put those blogs in the ground, we don’t need them anymore and heaven’s door was only ever a poor metaphor.

So, strange then with all this cursing of the much lauded creator and his special book and wotnot that there’s me, Mr Atheist or Agnostic depending on what day of the week it is, still saying ‘Oh God’ or ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ an inordinate about of times a day. God knows (point proven) if there was a God and taking his name in vain was ultimately a sore point for him I’d be struck down with the rest of the fuckers fighting to prevent abortion but supporting killing other innocents in his name and taking money from the poor and ignorant to do both. Oh, no wait, that’s his bunch anyway – so I’m probably the least of his worries just cussing him. Either that or it’s just some left over language and in a more civilised age we’ll be cursing evolution and damning singularities – look what you’ve made me do now genetic mutations etc. For now though I’ll continue my blasphemy and make no apology, until someone or something can show me otherwise. Unless it does turn out that Seb Coe is God almighty, in which case I shall up the ante and increase my swearing until he does strike me down – for that would be a world I would wish to inhabit even less than one overrun with our current religious zealots. A-fucking-men to that.