wednesday is for being psychotic
I don't know how much longer it can continue without some horrific meltdown. I'm feeling like I'm on borrowed time. By 8.30am this morning I was psychotic, intent on violence, drug abuse and sexual harassment - if not assault. Instead of giving into to the temptations of my brain and this thing hanging between my legs, which constantly tries to lead me towards more suffering, I decided to go to Sainsburys on my way to work and bought a nectarine and a banana. Something tells me it's not enough to keep me away from the edge today. I'm at my desk now and if they keep me busy may be no-one will notice the maroading nature of my mental state. That it is until tonight when I can make a break for the train and go home to stabilisers of drink, drugs, television and the tossing & turning centre of excellence that is my bed. And then I'll wake up in a state and it will all begin again.
I can't remember waking up happy and feeling at one with this world,
But I can recall some contentment, waking up next to that girl.
I can't remember waking up happy and feeling at one with this world,
But I can recall some contentment, waking up next to that girl.
posted by Marcus Woodrow at 09:03
3 Comments:
I used to feel just this way when I was a young buck. Believe me, the edge goes away if you can refrain 100% from drinking: try an alcoholics anonymous meeting. They are very kind people, and know just how you feel. You'll feel better when you get better.
Honest Injun.
Hey thanks bud', not least for being the first to comment on my blog - And there was me thinking I was just talking to myself. I'm already seeking lots of help with my various addictions - some days are worse than others. But it's always nice to know others have had it bad too. I blame Chinanski.
and Chinaski.
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